Yas seems to be living her life contrary to what’s considered normal in our society. She follows her gut feeling all the time despite what anyone says or thinks. A few times that we’ve hung out she told me about having met and lost the love of her life, been kidnapped twice, jumped out of the moving car, done Ayahuasca and not having a plan for more than 24 hours ahead. Yes, scheduling time with her is a challenge! 😅
After having lost her ex-boyfriend to suicide and their unborn baby, Yas’ world turned upside down paralyzing her at first and then making her completely change outlook on life. She used to make plans for the future, have a corporate job, obsess over capturing a ton of photos for Instagram. Now she realized how precious life truly is, how you absolutely cannot take even a day for granted, how pretending to have a perfect life on paper and social media is a waste of time, and how living your entire life and not enjoying it is a tragedy.
She told me about a lawyer friend married to a doctor living in a beautiful house and having expensive cars, and how she’s most sad for them… and that’s considering her own devastation! I asked why, and her response blew me away. She said despite their by the books perfect life, it’s obvious how they’re not happy, because they don’t belong with each other and they are spending so much energy maintaining their outside appearance, which is all a facade. We’re chasing after things we think we should, because it’s how we’re raised, because we believe they will bring us happiness, and most of the time missing the whole point, missing life itself. This made me think a lot.
In search of any hope or meaning to life, Yas went to Peru and spent 3 weeks with shamans in Ayahuasca retreat. Prior to talking to her, I only heard crazy stuff from podcasts, but her own experience described in such intensity of suppressed feelings, incredible sounds, reliving past moments and letting go of all that is something beyond explanation. She was also given a rare gift of seeing her future that gave her a reason to keep on living.
A few quotes from Yas:
“Everyone’s trying to be extraordinary. And right now I just want to be ordinary.”
“What hurts me is that he never got to enjoy his life… and be just completely happy.”
“I’m living in the next 24 hours. And seeing what happens…”
“It was nothing that I wanted it to be but it was everything that I needed it to be. And that’s what Ayahuasca is.”
Key video/audio time stamps:
- 1:16 – instagram perfect life and deleting social media accounts
- 6:30 – no one talks about suicide and why it was important to her
- 9:30 – new lifestyle of living without societal pressures
- 12:57 – living in the next 24 hours
- 15:59 – how she decided to try Ayahuasca as a way to manage depression
- 20:00 – beginning of her journey with shamans in Peru
- 25:48 – hardest part of Ayahuasca
- 29:20 – most profound experience out of 7
- 32:58 – the gift of seeing her future
What she said about Caleb never getting to enjoy his life and that being the reason that she was sad really resonated with me. Thank you for sharing her experience with us.
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Yeah, this is something that I highlighted as her quote too. It’s got a lot of weight in that sentence. Thank you for your comment!